Learning to live through struggles

A few months ago I attended a stake Relief Society meeting that had multiple speakers in attendance. I felt like there were so many times that the speaker was talking just to me (when in reality there were probably a lot of women in the room thinking the same thing). Thanks to the Spirit that is the case, the Spirit of our Heavenly Father can speak to us individually even in a crowded room. There was one speaker in particular who I really felt was speaking to me. She was reading from her journal and honestly she could have been reading directly from my journal and read pretty much the same thing. That day I learned that I am not the only one who struggles with something that makes me very sad. What is even more crazy about this is that it has been people I never would have thought had this struggle. I don't even like saying the word but I know it is real...depression. These past few days I have really had a hard time and felt like I would just do better to stay in bed and not come in contact with anyone. That way I could save them the pain of seeing me act or feel in a way that I didn't want to feel. Some people would say that it is all in your head or to just buck up but it is unfortunately NOT that easy. I wish it was!! I have not wanted to go out of my house but I have tried to do everything I can to get out EVERYDAY! For some that would not seem like a big task but sadly it is a big task when I feel the way I do. It probably doesn't help that I have hormones raging being pregnant but I struggle with this even when I'm not pregnant. Anyways I am not posting this for any to say "Oh poor Brianne" or to get sympathy or anything like that. I just felt like I needed to put some of MY feelings and thoughts out in writing for me and my loved ones to look back on. Some of you may think why would anyone want to read something sad like this. I know that when that sweet sister shared her journal with 100's of other women that I was 1 of many I'm sure who was affected and blessed by her sharing her struggle. I know I am NOT alone even though at times like this I feel alone. I am so blessed to have an understanding husband who listens to me cry about the weirdest things, who just holds me when I need it or who let's me be alone when I need it. I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for many blessings he has given me and continues to give. I know that without the help of him and my Savior I wouldn't be where I am today...sitting here sharing such a struggle with all who read this. If you are reading this and struggle with similar things please know you are not alone and with the help of the Savior anything is possible. Even if it is just getting into the shower for the day! :)